While I would very much like to move on from the accident and my injuries I am reminded constantly of the ongoing physical limitations, and the length of time it will take to get back to my former degree of fitness, strength and flexibility. I am told by my physical therapist to take things slowly so as not to add to the damage, resulting in a longer period of recovery. He has done ultrasound twice now which seems to loosen up the back muscles and I can feel the progress from one session to the next. While it is not exactly painful there can be painful muscle spasms and it is a slow process. When I visit my father, which I do several times a week, he notices my ongoing limitations and asks "Stiff today?" to which I respond with the same answer I give him every time, "Well, it is just the residual stiffness from the accident, no big deal." This seems to satisfy him and we can move on. I wonder if he then recalls, even briefly, that I was in the plane crash. While I was wearing the brace he was startled to see me in it each time and found it perplexing; he didn't remember from one visit to another why I was wearing it. That got tiresome for me, but I know it is not his fault that he forgets, it is the dementia. It is just hard and requires a great deal of patience. I look forward to the day when I am moving confidently and fluidly and he doesn't notice any problem.
Tomorrow Bart and I go to Cape Cod, for the first curling event of the season, except I will not be curling. Too soon. I do not have enough strength, flexibility or confidence yet that I can squat, stretch, slide, hop up out of the slide, sweep or otherwise perform on the ice. I will try to be positive about my ongoing recovery but this is depressing to me.
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